I had a real story to tell you but it was morbidly melodramatic and lame. Normally, I would give it a day or two to stew so I could try again but I really wanted to have something to show for the hours I sat here trying to pump something out.
Sometimes when things don’t go right or I’m having a bad day, I make myself be thankful for stuff so I can get myself out of the funk. Today started crumby but it turned itself around and now, I can write my list of thankful things and say it earnestly.
So I’m publishing my thankful list instead of the lame story I had planned.
There’s nothing artistic about it. I’m just writing it down so I remember how a bad day turned into something good.
I am thankful for days that start crumby but turn itself around. I’m thankful for turn around days.
I am thankful for coffee, garlic lentils and tuna casserole.
I’m thankful for cats who nap on my chest and get right up in my face so their whiskers tickle my chin. I’ve heard a cat purrs vibrate at a frequency that causes the human body to relax (or something like that). This little cat purred on me today and it was the best.
Last night, when Bella came home from colouring her hair, her youngest son came up to her and gave her a hug. She was surprised but welcomed him and her smile gushed wide. I’m thankful for her son and the moment Bella realized she was loved.
I am thankful for Bella. I was bummed out all day and when she came home, she was like, I’m going to Save On. Wanna come? At first I was like, no. But then I was like, yeah. And we went to Save On for water. She filled up the jugs while I looked around. It felt like Toronto and that warmed my heart.
While we were out, she received a text from one of her sons saying he wanted to come to Walmart with us. We swung by the apartment while the older one grabbed the jugs of water and the younger one jumped in the back.
I asked you earlier if you wanted to come, she said. You said no so we left.
I know, he says. I thought M was going with you. Then he didn’t and I didn’t want you to go alone.
You didn’t want me to go alone? she says.
Yeah but I didn’t know Susan was going too, he says.
I’m happy your coming, G.
Later, Bella tells me that M, her eldest, wanted to invite a friend over for a sleepover. He was worried about him but wouldn’t go into detail over why or what. Just that his friend was sad. It’s hard watching your friend go through stuff, he said. I just don’t want him to be alone.
Kids can be so sweet sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes. I’m thankful for Bella’s boys who are so empathetic and thoughtful.
When we got home from Walmart, I had a bath with a rose gold sequinned tumbler of ginger ale and rum while listening to a sermon on humility. I washed my hair and put on a baking soda & toothpaste mask which was utterly refreshing. One of the cats kept me company and curled herself into a ball in the sink.
I was supposed to have a prayer meeting with a friend in Montreal but got my timezones all mixed up. She was still available and we sat and talked for an hour. It’s been so long since I’ve had fellowship like that. The whole time — even before we ever prayed — I felt the comfort and peace that transcends all understanding. By the end my heart was full. Whatever funk I was in before was gone, my appetite was back and I felt like myself again. All I could say was thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus.
Then I came out of my room and ate more garlic lentils with margarine and it was the best.
And now I’m going to persuade a cat to purr on me while I read Flannery O’Conner till my eyes get droopy.
(Also, did I mention I got my teacher certificate today? Apparently, it takes some people a long time to hear back from the regulatory board. NBD or anything but I got it in a day. Now I’m a certified teacher and it’s kind of surreal!)