I’m not sure if I believe in writer’s block. Creative writing is a discipline. You have to work at it every day to get that muscle in shape. But because I am a creative non-fiction writer (or attempting to be) often times, I don’t write because I can’t make sense of everything that is happening. Sometimes it’s because the story hasn’t finished yet and I need to wait until the chapter closes. Other times it’s because I don’t know how to write the problems the protagonist is facing in an honourable way. How do you write about the consequences of sin compassionately, especially when it causes so much harm?
I’m not sure if a person can.
Something has to give at some point. We either be truthful and tell the story like it is or we cover it up by denying and only remembering the good. Which serves no good, at all, and a potentially great story becomes mediocre at best because the stakes were lowered when the disastrous effects of sin were watered down.
See, there’s this running thread in the particular story God is weaving in my life currently. Telling the story prematurely would meddle with whatever God is trying to do and it would expose people in a way that I’m not convinced is loving. The stories I want to tell need to be done at the right time. Now is not that time. Right now, the best thing to do is exercise some self-control and wait for God to finish the story. So I’ll refrain from writing about it until the time is right.
(And no, the problem the protagonist is facing has nothing to do with my love life. That’s a sack of shit but a separate pile. The story God’s weaving– and the one I’m trying to figure out– is a different plot line altogether).
Until I can figure out what direction God is taking this little tale, the stories on my blog will likely be more episodic rather than linear. Or maybe they won’t even be stories. Maybe they will just be lists and lists. Maybe they’ll be journal entries or very bad poetry. They might be funny or they might be very depressing. Not sure yet. They may not even have anything to do with Susan Pettigrew. I have no clue what it will be but I want to keep writing even if I don’t understand what or where this thing is going. Apparently this is a good place to be, creatively speaking. It’s good to be uncertain. I don’t remember who said that but somebody somewhere said that being uncertain is one of the safest places to be when you are creating something. Because then you’re not trying to direct or control the story. You’re just the vessel for it. It feels shitty at the time, but something beautiful will arrive at the end. That’s the goal, at least.