List of Thoughts

Saturday, February 23

  • Things Bridget Jones and I have in common: She is kinda frumpy in her sense of fashion. I’m kinda frumpy. Her hair is messy. My hair is messy. She has big boobs. I have big boobs. She walks funny. I walk funny. She’s single in her thirties. Me too. We both drink hard liquor (Bridget = vodka, me= dark rum). She has bad self control. I have bad self control. She says things like “shag.” I don’t but maybe I will. She’s a bad cook. I’m a bad cook. Like, today I tried making mac n’ cheese today for some friends but I overcooked the macaroni. It was supposed to be like a gourmet mac n’ cheese with onions and cheese and tomato soup but it looked really slumpy. But I fed it to people anyway and hoped that maybe it tasted better than it looked. Apparently, the salad was okay. It had spinach, goat cheese, mandarin oranges, pecans and cucumber. Once I made a sandwich for a friend and I think I put too much mustard on it, ’cause his eyes burst open really, really wide and he kinda coughed a little. My friends are too nice to tell me they dislike my cooking. Bridget Jones’s friends suffer through her cooking, too. We both have really good friends.  Mark Darcy even says he likes her anyway. Such good sports.
  • Funny story. Once in the writer’s group I go to, there’s this poet who’s 19 and, like, gets published all the time. Poetry, plays, etc. I mean, she’s the daughter of two english professors so it makes sense. But once she wrote a poem and it had words like, tongue, Orion’s belt, naked, knees, veins and creamy onion soup with chunky onions. So naturally, as a group of writers whose minds are in the gutter, we thought it was about blowjobs.  And one of the other girls who was giving her notes at the time, tried to say in a really sweet tone, almost like she was giving a compliment but not, “Very sexy. Great imagery. Loved this line [insert fave line here]. So great. Just loved it. But hey, is this poem about a blowjob?  I was just a little confused about the chunky onion analogy.  It rang a little funny. Is that the word you really want to use?” The girl was like, “IT’S NOT ABOUT A BLOWJOB AND THE CHUNKY ONIONS ARE STAYING!!!”
    • I shouldn’t laugh. My writing is shit in comparison to hers and I never get published but it was brilliant comedy at the time.
  • GREAT NEWS!!! I’m going to be in Shoulderbird’s production of “5 Women Wearing the Same Dress” by Alan Ball. I. am. so. EXCITED!!! The cast is really great and very talented. I liked Shoulderbird’s first production (can’t remember the name of the play) but liked how they create and work together. I know most of them from uni and I’m really looking forward to working with them. It’s been awhile since I’ve performed but I know I can do it. It’s such a good play!! I’m playing a clumsy lesbian who pukes a lot and sells real estate on the side. I’m only a little worried about what people will say about a Christian playing a lesbian but acting is about empathy. You can’t love your character and judge her at the same time. Every show I do, God changes something in my heart. I hope this one will help me become more loving and see things from someone else’s perspective. I’m looking forward to getting back on stage. I’ve missed it a LOT! Did I say I’m excited??? CUZ I’M REALLY EXCITED!!