Now to Him

I am thankful for friends. I think I say that every week but honestly, it’s hard to find friends who make you laugh as hard as they do. Who accept you for being weird. For friends you can “fight” or disagree with and you still wanna hang out with them and they still wanna hang out with you. It’s just so rare. And I’m thankful.

Of all the poor choices I’ve made, I think the stupidest was walking home at midnight alone after watching a scary movie about witches who run around at night eating babies and drinking blood out of a sick goat’s udder and murdering families. I was on 13th Ave and there was this lady on her bike who was riding along the sidewalk behind me when I heard her say, “Excuse me,” while her bike went rickety rickety rack rack. I almost died. But instead of doing that, I squeaked and nodded and moved out of her way. I asked myself why, why, why did I think watching a scary movie was smart?! Honestly, I don’t think I’ve regretted any of my life choices more than when I was walking home last night. I prayed so hard, you guys. Anyway, I’m thankful I’m not a witch (even if some students/humans might think so) and that I made it home safely without being mashed up by one.

I’m thankful for bible studies that remind me of God’s love when I needed it the most. I am thankful for Jesus who reminds me what love is and what love is not. Love is not flattery. Love is not being a doormat. Love is doing no harm to others even if they do it to you (Romans 13:10). It means not treating others with the same contempt they treated you. It doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend. It doesn’t mean everything will go back to normal immediately. It means I let God deal with them. My job is to love and serve and not give up. I keep praying Jesus will help me do it because I’m still hurt about everything but I want to do the right thing and I don’t want to be a quitter. I’m thankful for that reminder this morning.

I’m thankful it was busy at the box office today at work. I hate being bored. I’m thankful I get to spend time with Sherri Dlouhy- Stevenson, who is like a mother to me. We’ll be cleaning up after a wedding tomorrow morning but I like it and so I’m thankful for that.

Since getting off caffeine, I feel like I’ve been catching up on months of lost sleep. I’m thankful for the rest.

I’m learning to be grateful for doors closing, whether that be friendships, relationships, missed opportunities, rejection, etc. It’s not always fun in the moment because I learn ugly things about myself and about others but I’m getting stronger and I’m thankful for that.

I’m thankful for the kids I sub for. On Friday, this little person with food all over her face followed me around while I got lost in the school. I’m pretty sure she was not supposed to be wandering but eventually we found her classroom or at least a person who knows which classroom she belongs in. She clearly didn’t want to go to class but I enjoyed her comedic interlude a lot. I’m thankful for her. I’m also thankful for the teacher I subbed for and what she reminded me of. On her desk she has this Christmas bookmark stuck in a mug with a bunch of pens and pencils. The bookmark has Jude 1:24 written on it, “Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless in the presence of His glory with great joy…” I’m thankful for the reminder and how God works.

I’m going to wash my hair now.