Well, I lasted about two weeks of no writing. Not the full month but almost. I ended the “holiday” early because I have a writing project I’ve been wanting to complete for awhile now and believe completing it would be of more use than, well, not.
In my last blog, Desert Design Writing, I attempted to tell some bible stories. I studied the book of Judges and the gospel of John. I also tried to work through the story of Esther but never finished it. Partially out of laziness but mostly out of fear. Fear that I’d teach it the wrong way and lead people in the wrong direction. Fear that I’d say something offensive or condemning and be rejected. Fear that something “bad” would happen and leave my world shattered again.
I can’t say I’m necessarily prepared for any of those things to happen again. Oddly, the compulsion and desire to tell Esther’s story is winning out and quite possibly even more unbearable than the fear.
So here’s how I’m going to do this. I’m going to tell this story the way I’d arrange an Inquiry unit in class with a KWL chart (K=Know, W=Want to Know, L = Learned). Usually, we start with the K but I’m going to rearrange it a bit and start with the W. In this case, my W is a mix of ‘Why’ and ‘Want to Know.’ I think anytime we set our minds on some sort of goal, we want to be aware of the “why.” Life will get crazy and sometimes nightmares do come true but the “why” keeps us focused so we can stay on target and don’t give up. I’m doing this so I can come back to it again when I feel like giving up.
Here are my ‘why’s’:
- I’ve been dating a lot. There have been some really great things that have happened and some not so great things. I’m not necessarily swearing off dating but I do recognize that my self-esteem and self -worth have taken a hit. I want to study the story of Esther to remind myself of who I am in Jesus’s eyes: chosen, beloved and precious.
- I’m telling it on my blog as a messy ‘first’ draft because God uses it to teach me grace, His sufficiency and how to trust Him more. By taking time to tell it, God uses it to speak into my life and the life of my readers. I want tell this story to remind other women of who they are in Jesus’s eyes, too.
- I want to learn about leadership from a feminine point of view. As a Christian, obviously, I want to become more like Jesus and lead like He does, sacrificially and with a servant’s heart. With that said, Jesus is a man and I am a woman. I believe men and women have different styles and roles when it comes to leadership. So I want to know, how does Esther lead? What makes her so effective? What makes her unique as a leader? What qualities make her desirable to the king? I want to know what being a godly leader looks like as a woman. Is there truly a difference in the way men and women lead?
- Lastly, a word on style. I want to tell Esther’s story with a cast of cats. Why? Because I love cats (duh), it would challenge me as a writer and I don’t think it’s been done before (minus Veggies Tales, where everyone is a vegetable and marketed for children. In the version I’d like to tell, mostly everyone is a cat and marketed for teenagers and older). I also like to do clown work in the theatre and a clown’s job is to take difficult subject matter and make it digestible for her audience. I want to tell the story of Esther with cats to help both my readers and myself digest some hard truths with a sense of humour.
- Another reason I want to tell it on my blog and not, say, as an e-book, is because so many of the themes I play with in Claws by Susan P are similar to Esther’s. Both deal with topics of beauty, womanhood, love/marriage, justice and even God’s sovereignty. By adding cats, I’d be able to bring in the pet-sitting thing that inspired the name in the first place. I want to get some direction and focus from Esther’s story so I can re-evaluate how I’m doing things on Claws by Susan P.
So yeah, I think that’s it. I’ll get into more of the K and L parts later. Will keep you posted 😉
Oh! I almost forgot…
My goal is to complete this story by my 32nd birthday on November 26th.