try again

You guys, I’m sorry but I just can’t do the part where Susan comes into The Castle in the middle of the night after her break up. I wanted to use it as an opportunity for Heggai to train Myrtle. Blake Snyder, this screenwriting guru, said there’s this part of a script called ‘Fun and Games’ where the protagonist gets trained for the adventure ahead. It’s always my favourite part of any movie. It’s the part in Miss Congeniality where Sandra Bullock gets a makeover and Michael Caine teaches her how to be a Beauty Queen. I love that part. It’s the Ugly Duckling turning into a swan… kind of.

The other reason I wanted to write this part was to show the opposite of being chosen, which is being rejected. All good stories need opposition and contrast. The problem is, I don’t know how to write that part of the story yet in a funny way. In many ways, I’m Susan and I’m still kind of sad about the thing she lost. I’ve spent a good couple of hours trying to write it down and it just doesn’t sound good. It’s clumsy and angsty and not at all like the style I’ve already got going.

But I think I realized something. Maybe the point isn’t for me to show contrast or opposition. The story of Esther has a lot of conflict and opposition already. Perhaps the lesson about being chosen in the face of rejection is less of a public lesson and more of a private one. I often find healing in storytelling, especially when reading the bible. Perhaps this is God’s way of getting my attention and focus back on what matters. Him.

Which, honestly, I think is basically all He does sometimes because I’m so prone to wander and get distracted.

See? This is what happens!! I get distracted just like the Israelites in Exodus and God has to get me focused again. Ugh. I could cover much more ground if I just stayed focused. Oh well. This is a part of the journey. Anyway, this means I have to cut the entire last post, “Whispered the Winter Wind” and pass the behind-the-scenes part with Susan and the dating etiquette. I really liked it and maybe it would work in another draft but not now. It’s not in the bible story anyway so we’re not really missing anything. The important parts aren’t about Susan or dating. It’s about God and what he does through Esther/Myrtle.

Okay so I’m going to re-evaluate the story and try again next time.

Before I go to bed, though, I’m going to write a thankful list so I don’t feel like I’ve wasted an entire evening staring at my screen.

I AM THANKFUL:

  • For my dad who welcomes me every week for supper and never complains when I’m late. He accommodates my food intolerances so that I can enjoy the meal with him. I’m thankful for my dad because he’s good to me when I don’t deserve it.
  • For food in my belly.
  • This will be my first Christmas in my own apartment. I’m so thankful I get to celebrate Christmas under my own terms and begin my own traditions. This weekend, I bought a bunch of Christmas decorations and did some crafts. I don’t know what my guests will think of the Christmas tree I made of wrapping ribbon or the pictures I covered with Christmas wrapping but I like it. It feels like home to me.
  • For how much time I have to get stuff done.
  • For the doctors. I got a prescription for my acne and I’m hoping it will help. Apparently, there will be a purging period where things might look worse before they get better. I’m not looking forward to that but at least, I’ll know it’s working.
  • For Seven Stones. My contract was extended part-time so that the other teacher I was filling in for can ease back into school. I miss the primary kids in the afternoon but I still see them at lunch time. They ask me to open their Thermos’s and I feel so cool when I can (at home I’m never this successful but of course, I don’t have as many grade ones’ cheering me on neither.)
  • For Julianna. She and I met up for coffee this weekend to talk about a writing project we’re working on. I’m learning so much from her. In fact, if it weren’t for her, I probably would’ve given up.
  • This post. Everything I was writing before was going in the wrong direction. I’m so happy I gave up the Susan part and got refocused on the Esther part. That’s the part that matters.
  • Something really beautiful happened a week ago. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. We hugged and I missed her more than I realized. The backstory is much larger than I can write here but the reunion was a bucket-filler and I left church blessed.
  • For all the things I’ve lost, God has filled them will good things. Not just because He’s been healing me from those sore things and putting my heart back together again but because He legit fills my time with people I enjoy. I may be single and I may not have kids but I have family and friends to spend my weekends and evenings with.
  • My Dad is a bargain hunter and loves to shop at Value Village and Salvation Army (a passion he’s passed onto me). I can’t speak for Dad but there’s something about the history of the clothing or objects we buy that I find intriguing. There’s memory attached to it. Anyway, for my birthday, he gave me a guitar he found at Sally Ann’s. To someone else, it would be a piece of junk but to my dad and I, it’s buried treasure. I’m thankful for my Dad, for Sally Ann’s, for the guitar, and the way it makes me sing more. I’ve missed singing SO MUCH.
  • I’m thankful for correction. Hopefully, I’ll find some time soon to actually write what I said I would… the story of Esther and not of Susan. 🙂