I’m thankful for poetry with jocks, for old men who absolve you after you accidentally block their driveway, for peaceful endings. I’m thankful for phone calls with friends from Toronto. For heart-to-hearts and time spent in prayer. 

I’m thankful for snow and warm blankets. I’m thankful for soft beds, flu meds, kombucha, and my Soda Stream. I’m thankful God got me through. 

I’m thankful for Ecole Harbour Landing School. For the day I was there, the kids were so kind and respectful. They were open to trying drama games that were out of their comfort zone. Their hearts were open to correction and feedback. They didn’t fight me every time. I’ve never met kids like that before. I’m so thankful for this. 

I signed up for FaithlifeTV so I can start doing more bible studies. It. Is. So. Cool. Like, there’s lessons on each book in the New Testament, stuff on filmmaking, archeology, biblical history, counseling, apologetics, the Torah, documentaries, etc. THERE’S SO MUCH TO LEARN! I’m in nerd heaven!!!

I’m thankful for all the things God did in 2019 and the ways He helped me reach my goals. He has blessed me so much. At the beginning of 2019, I had so little but by the end, I reached two of my financial goals. At the beginning of 2019, I didn’t have any creative projects to work on. By the spring, I performed in a show with Shoulderbirds and pitched three ideas to this New Works committee. By the end of 2019, I’ve found collaborators who are helping me complete two of the ideas I pitched: a “t.v.” writer’s room and my podcast for Claws by Susan P. Truly, I couldn’t ask for better people to be working on any of these projects with. They are mature, handle conflict well, they’ve got good taste and are dedicated. 

To further these blessings, around April (or maybe it was May), I moved back in with my dad until I could find a place of my own. At first I was nervous because Dad and I don’t always get along but it actually proved to be very healing. We both grew from our mistakes and this kind of affirmed that growth. I started to see things from Dad’s perspective. How strong he is and all the things he’s been through. Eventually, I did find my own place and I love it so much. It’s what I’ve always wanted and I feel very much at home here. Dad and I are still close and meet up once a week for supper and a movie. 

God blessed me so much in 2019. There were some sad parts but all the blessings overshadow the losses. Even when bad things happened, God proved He was there with me every single step of the way and I was never alone. Even friendship-wise, I lost a couple of friends this year and that was painful. But for all the friendships I lost, I gained twice as many by the end of the year.

And even if 2020 is the year I lose it all again (I really hope it isn’t. I’ve hit rock bottom more times than necessary), I know I’ll be okay because Jesus has gotten me through some really difficult things. For this moment, when all I can see are the blessings, I am so grateful for what He has done and what He’s gotten me through.