good stress, bad stress

Well, a lot has happened since I’ve last filled you in. On a good note, I’ve picked up a couple teaching jobs at the Globe Theatre and that makes me very happy. I wanted a chance to do it again and now I have three different classes/chances.

Another good thing is a friend and I went out for coffee a couple weeks ago and she gently corrected me on some things I was doing. Not in a mean way. She was very gracious and humble in her correction. Had she done it any other way, I don’t think I would’ve responded or listened. She was so soft in the way she did it that I had to re-evaluate. Her correction brought me back into community at my church and I’m really grateful for this. I was stuck in some toxic thinking so I kinda needed someone to help me snap out of it.

My projects continue to progress. There have been some hiccups along the way. Like, I lost all my material (2 interviews) for my podcast so I had to come up with something on the fly. On Sunday/Monday, I fasted to try and figure out what to do. The episode was due that Wednesday and it usually takes me 1-2 hours to do the interview/manicure and another 6-8 hours to edit. Everything turned out fine so I’m grateful for that.

On the other hand, I’ve had some family members get sick or die over the course of a month. One died a couple weeks ago, and another was diagnosed with a terminal illness and is planning an assisted death. They are extended family that I haven’t seen in a very long time. We weren’t that close. Other family members feel the brunt of it much deeper than me but I have fond memories of these women and the fact that they are family — however disjointed we may be — means something to me. So basically, I don’t know what to make of it. Grief and loss isn’t new to me but it’s still kind of disorienting.

This is all to say I’m finding it hard to stay on task and get writing time in. Some of the stress is due to really good things happening. Other stress not so much… I’m getting very forgetful and having a hard time focusing. So if you see me walking around a bit confused or making dumb mistakes or having a hard time building a sentence or acting a little anxious, please just be patient with me. I’ll get back on my feet, I just need a bit if time and a whole lot of grace.

Also, if you know any guys who are on Tinder/Bumble who would let me do their nails and interview them for my podcast, please let me know. I got a fake phone number: a) to prank people (mostly just Yale, the lawyer, because I thought he pranked me [I was 20% positive but it was a heavy 20%… I should know better considering the other pranks I’ve pulled but I just felt like being a little shit]), and; b) Get back on Tinder but that proved to be crapshoot. I lasted on there less than 8 hours. Gosh, that was dumb. I have no clue what I was thinking but I’m blaming it on stress and lead poisoning from Regina’s tap water. This is all to say I was trying to find a boyfriend to help me forget all my stress aaand find a dude who will let me interview him. In either case, I can’t handle the stress of online dating apps right now. I don’t know if my blog is a good place to put this request out there but it’s worth a shot.