Oh man you guys. I have so much to say but it’s easier if I stick to bullet points.
WHAT I’M LEARNING
- I’m learning that it makes people mad when you can’t do everything they want when they want and how they want. If I had a dollar for every person I’ve pissed off during COVID alone, I’d have enough to buy moolah to buy at least two venti Pikes at Starbucks.
- I’m learning that people hate because they are hurting. They lie because they are scared. And they put you down because they don’t feel good about themselves.
- Thanks to COVID, I’m learning you can offend someone by a literally breathing the wrong way.
- I’m learning that even if I did everything that my haters wanted (oh lawd, there are SO many), it STILL wouldn’t be enough. I could mould myself into this parrot who said only the opinions that agreed with my audience’s worldview but I still wouldn’t be enough for them. They would find something else to criticize me for eventually. And I’d only be able to hold the act for so long. Eventually, you’d find out I was just writing to get your approval. And the person who would hate me the most is me.
- I’m learning to just be myself and get used to the fact that I can’t fit into everyone’s mould of whatever it is they want me to be. And honestly, I don’t want to. God made me this way for a reason and I’m tired of apologizing for it. Being a Christian hasn’t been easy but I like who I’m becoming. I’ve screwed up a lot and I will screw up some more. I’m sure many of my readers have heard or seen me do sinful things. I am a sinner. I don’t deny that but Jesus is rebuilding me and his opinion is the only one that matters. If people gossip and get cranky, then so be it. I’ve done what I can. This hamster wheel of people pleasing is getting dumb. I’m ready to glow up now.
- (Total 180 for the next point. Just FYI. I didn’t write these in sequence. And I think editting is for chumps)
- I started going to a medical aesthetician to get my hormonal acne under control. Her name is Jenna, she works at The Salon Society and she does everything naturally. This is why I chose her. I’ve done everything I can on my own and even the stuff my doctor prescribed wasn’t working. We started with a detox and a spot treatment chemical peel. Which was a little painful but it’s actually working. I’m learning that this detox isn’t just for my skin. There are so many things God is detoxing out of me. The cleanse and the burn are painful and you might peel or look red and blotchy for awhile but there is a purpose behind it. Healing takes time but in the end, it’s worth it. There is beauty in the process and I’m learning to enjoy it as I go.