This is a really disjointed post, FYI. Kind of all over the place but that’s fine. Sometimes these random posts are my favourite.
I had initially planned to do an entire vlog and educational post about where I’m at in this skincare journey. But I couldn’t figure out how to edit all the vids together so that plan fell through. Plus, my skin is still purging and the routine my medical aesthetician, Jenna Sorenko @ The Salon Society, has set out for me is still in it’s beginning phase. Hardly enough to give a full review. My treatments thus far have been a lot of detox masks, chemical peels and extractions. I’ll be honest, it’s been uncomfortable. The treatments are meant to bring all the crap in my pores to the surface. Since I’m battling cystic acne, the purging comes in clusters and makes my skin bumpy and red. Mostly around my jawline and cheeks. Even though there are a lot of things I could complain about, I find it much more helpful to remember the things I’m grateful for:
a)I can finally afford to seek professional, medical help. I was DIY-ing it before and though I invested in some good products, I needed some medical treatments to get a little deeper. Again, I plan to write more of this after getting a couple more treatments under my belt but I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to get some help.
b) Jenna keeps me on track. When I’m discouraged and frustrated, Jenna assures me that I’m not having an allergic reaction to the products, I’m just purging and this is all apart of the process. I know more junk is going to come out and it’s going to be uncomfortable but it helps knowing that every blackhead, whitehead and cystic pimple that comes to the surface is one step closer to having a cleaner pore and a fresh layer of skin.
c) I’m learning to accept my skin as it is. The more makeup I wear, the less comfortable I feel. Don’t get me wrong. I still like to get dressed up and I’m experimenting with simpler makeup routine to see if I can find something lighter but polished for school/work, nights out, etc. The confidence boost makeup can give is something I’m eternally grateful for. Still, my favourite part of the day is when I wash it all off and follow the homework Jenna has set out for me.
d) I’m thankful for the progress I see every day. The healing time is faster, the new skin coming through after a chemical peel spot treatment is softer, cleaner and brighter, and my blackheads are falling out and dissolving daily.
e) I feel like it’s easier to be myself with people. Not that I have the best personality in the whole world (I can be quite moody sometimes) but I was starting to focus more on outward appearances rather than what’s inside. I’ve known my vanity and makeup has been an idol for some time. Meaning, I used makeup and what I saw in the mirror to prove my worth more rather than resting in what Jesus says about me and finding my comfort and identity in that. This purging process has definitely highlighted my insecurities. It would seem like my skin isn’t the only thing that needs to heal. My heart does, too. I’m thankful for time to heal and get my priorities straight.
Now I think I’ll make a thankful list that’s unrelated to skincare.
But before I do, I was thinking about something. Super random but whatever (I warned you at the beginning of the post that it was disjointed). It’s really late and this is just what I sound like at 1 in the morning.
Anyway, I was thinking about how much I write about myself on my blog and how selfish it sounds. Which is true. I am. But my rebuttal to that is it’s the one place I can talk about myself freely and after I get it out, I can focus on other people better. So that’s one of the reasons why I blog. I blah blah about myself so I can work on being kinder in real life. It’s like my personal safe place where I can express myself and track my progress. Then in real life, I can focus on people more. I mean, that’s what I’m trying to do but I’m not perfect at it.
And that’s all I wanted to say about that.
Which makes it even more random than I planned but again, I. don’t. care. This is how I roll.
My Unrelated-to-Skincare Thankful List:
- Letting go of people you care about is hard but it helps knowing that the guy I’m trying to let go of will be happier in the life he’s building for himself. He will have a better job and have more free time. He’ll find a nice hippy girl with beautiful clear skin and they’ll go frolick in the forest like a pair of nymphs or whatever. He’ll be able to meet new people and start over. He’ll eat really good food and hug trees like a nice little hippy. And I’ll learn to let go, be happy for him and keep working towards my goals.
- I’m grateful for times of relief and humour when things are hard.
- I’m grateful for time to spend with Piper. I could use a little cat therapy.
- I’m grateful for my teaching job in the fall. It’s going to be hard but I’m excited to see the kids again. I’ve missed them since the day the schools closed down.
- I’m grateful for the retail job I currently have. It gives me people to talk to. Most of them are friendly and respectful. The ones who aren’t are stuck behind a counter most of the time so I don’t talk to them a lot anyway.
- I’m grateful for knitting.
- I’m grateful for phone calls from friends.
- I’m grateful for journalling.
- I’m grateful for green tea.
- I’m grateful for a good night’s sleep after many nights of not.