Mermaids, Cowlicks and Risky Jokes: Musings During My COVID Isolation

List of random things:

  • I’ve been in self isolation for a week due to being in contact with a COVID case. My test came back negative but we were told to go home for awhile. I’ll be done on Friday and I CANNOT wait! It has gone fairly smoothly all things considered. I stayed busy with school stuff, cleaning, and had good convos over the phone. My dad helped out with errands and brought me gluten-free muffins from the Co-op. Apart from another worm-scare and the time Sophia kept attacking my bottom when I was trying to watch t.v., my cats have been great roommates. I’m grateful things have gone as smoothly as they have so far. I hope (please dear Jesus) let it stay smooth for the next couple of days.
  • Also, do you like my watermarked Canva Feature image with the lady with magenta hair? So pro, hey? Jk, Jk. It’s cheap but it works so I’m keeping it.
  • Maybe it’s just the cabin fever talking but I miss my long blue mermaid hair. I was talking about it with some friends a couple weeks ago and one of them said I should bring that back and I was, like, I know and she was like, do it and I was, like, maybe magenta? And she was, like, yeah. So I think I’m going to do that but should research it some more. Like how do you care for extensions? Which ones won’t damage my hair? How do you keep your extensions from looking ratched? Is that how you spell ‘ratch-ed’? Maybe I should check in with my principals to make sure it’s okay that I get magenta hair. Is there anything that says I can’t get magenta hair. But, oh, I miss the blue. Maybe I’ll go back to blue.
  • I think I told this story before but my family has a habit of telling stories over and over and over again because — I don’t know — we like a good story, I guess. Plus, I’m feeling nostalgic for my blue hair and this story goes with it. Anyways, once I went on a date with a guy after I dyed my hair blue and forgot to update my photos online. When we met for the first time, he was, like, oh, your hair is blue. I was, like, sorry I forgot to update that. I remember having a really bad flare-up of acne that week and I was trying to prep for the date by eating only clean foods so as to get rid of the flare-up and put my best proverbial foot forward. My skin wasn’t perfect and even though my hair was blue, he still asked me out on a second date (I don’t know how I pulled that off so I’m just gonna chalk it up to his good character). I declined for various reasons but think of our exchange fondly. He is one of the many men who proved to me that not all of them are jerks. Months later, when I was a brunette once again, I ran into him at the Pita Pit on a lunch hour when I was subbing at a high school close by. I forgot he worked at the car dealership across the way. We didn’t acknowledge each other but I remember his cowlick. On our date, he kept trying to smooth it down and was so worried about it. When I saw him at the Pita Pit, his cowlick was all wild and free. It suited him and found him infinitely more attractive when he was just his everyday-self. His dishevelled, cowlick-y, usual-self. Aaaaanyway, the moral of that story is to be yourself. What you think might turn someone off about you, might be the thing that causes them to like you more. Aaaaand what one person doesn’t like about you, might be the quality another one might adore.
  • The second moral of the story is having mermaid hair will activate your love life.
  • Just kidding. It doesn’t. I just love mermaid hair.
  • You guys, I bought these granny glasses last year in an effort to pull off the Chic Geek look but it just hit me that the only thing they make me look like is a granny. Took me a full year and a couple months of isolation to finally realize it. UGH.
  • I was looking over my Google search history over these past couple days of isolation and let me tell you, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned how to know if you have a worm in your eye and what the meaning of virtue is. Today, I learnt the meaning of “proverbial” so I used it in a sentence (see above). Before that, I learned how some cats (like mine) have spots on the roof of their mouths and you don’t need to worry about it. I learned what my exes are up to… just kidding (not really. Google can only tell you so much). I learned that pinworms are transferred from human to human but not from feline to human. I learned I don’t have boils (doctor confirmed it was just a zit) and as far as I can tell from the list of symptoms, I also don’t have schizophrenia.
  • Anyway, the whole thing I was trying to say about Google is my next research will be “how to be feminine” and then “How to be feminine with a short bob and granny glasses.” Will keep you posted but I’m really hoping the people at Google will tell me to get mermaid hair and extensions.
  • Oh gawd. It’s late. I keep saying I’m going to go to bed early but never do. I end up watching a lot of episodes of “Justified” or just laying on my couch talking to myself and writing on my blog with poor grammar.
  • Anyway, my cats are going insane. They’ve been playing “Cat n’ Mouse” for the past hour, provoking each other back and forth. Sophia paused to play with the box of kitty litter (not her litter box; the box that I fill her litter box with) and paw at it for awhile. While Marilyn hurdles over the couch taking my computer charger with her.
  • Oh yeah, did i tell you that I’m planning on becoming a partner at my church? After thoroughly interrogating my pastor on the doctrinal statements and attending their church for a couple years (minus the stint in Toronto), I have come to the conclusion that they are, indeed, the real deal. Becoming a partner just means we’re committing to look out for each other and hold each other accountable. Kind of the like “The Godfather” but less killing and more family. Just kidding (I can’t tell if anyone else thinks these jokes are funny or if it’s just me. Even during the questions in the Partnership class I would write these jokes and then 24 hours later, I’d realize that’s not a good idea and have to go back and change them) If they still want me and the Lord is still willing, I plan on going ahead with it. If the Lord is extra willing, I’ll do it with magenta (or blue) mermaid hair. 😉