That Kill Spirit: What I’m Learning in the Bible

As you may or may not know, I’m a Christian and I write about what I’m learning on here. I’m not as consistent in it as I could be and part of it is because every time I do, something bad happens. So it’s like I have to brace myself every time I talk about my faith because a wave of Bad Things is surely on its way. Which is a totally pessimistic thing to say but very true.

But here I am again, writing about my faith and I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it’s because I’ve tried to tone down “the Jesus” to make myself more palpable to people around me but it doesn’t really matter. Whether I talk about my faith or not, someone always has something to criticize. So I might as well just be myself. Plus, I’m really craving some thing I can hold onto. Theories or books about Christian living are nice but they don’t compare to the real thing. I feel much more satisfied after some time reading the bible. Is that dumb? Maybe. Will people make fun of me for it? Probably. But it is what it is and we each have a quirk. The Lord is mine.

Here’s what I’m learning:

  1. I think one of the reasons John (as in the writer of the gospel of John) refers to himself in third person, specifically “the beloved disciple” is because he genuinely believes he’s loved. He’s not saying the other disciples aren’t loved. He’s just so firm in his identity of love that he can’t really separate himself from that reality. He sees himself the way Jesus does. For example, have you ever had a friend who just got a boyfriend or girlfriend and they can’t stop talking about that person? And you’re just like, PLEASE STOP. WE GET IT. YOU’RE IN LOVE. SOMEBODY LOVES YOU. YOU’RE A CUT ABOVE THE REST OF US EARTHLINGS. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY IT EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY. But you don’t actually say that to their face, you just keep it to yourself and remind yourself to check your attitude… Have you ever had that happen? I think John is like that. He sounds cocky and annoying and selfish but he’s none of those things. He’s just in love. It’s an incredibly personal kind of love. When you’re in love, you want to tell everybody. You don’t care how you sound. You don’t care if you look silly. You don’t even care what other people think about because… why? You’re loved and that’s all that matters. John leads by example there, perhaps without even meaning to. He’s just himself.
  2. On the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about the beautitudes. In the translation I use, the Good News Translation, (people poo-poo on it but it was given to me by my cousin who helped me get on track in my faith so it feels like home. Anyway…), Jesus says two things that fascinate me. In Matthew 5:6, He says, “Happy are those whose greatest DESIRE is to do what God requires (a.k.a. whatever is right or just) ; God will satisfy them.” . Then later, He says, “Happy are those who are persecuted because they DO what God requires; the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them!” I guess I learned that God honours both the desire to do what is right and the actual doing of it! It doesn’t matter if someone’s ahead of you in this journey or if another person is just getting started. Jesus doesn’t see it that way. It’s all progress.
  3. To go along with the beautitudes, we are blessed when we mourn because that means we had a loving relationship. We loved and someone loved us. And isn’t being loved something to be happy about? đŸ™‚

I could write more but it’s getting late and need to go to bed so I’m ready for whatever hits me in the face tomorrow…

That was a little negative and it reminded me of one more thing I wanted to write down.

Awhile back I watched a documentary called “20 Feet From Stardom” all about background singers of rock bands and Motown. In one of the interviews, Darlene Love was talking about this “kill spirit.” How you gotta have that “kill spirit” to make it in that business. That drive, determination and perseverance to make it. She was referring to making it as a solo singer, rather than a back up. I see the kill spirit a little differently. She still is driven, determined and perseveres but she looks a lot like the woman the writer writes about in Proverbs 31. She’s practical, creative, financially responsible, entreprenuerial, extremely independent, but still loves her husband and lets him know it, loves her family, is optimistic about the future, almost laughs at challenges that come her way because she trusts the God that will get her through them. She’s totally fearless about the future. She’s got that kill spirit.

I need some of whatever she’s got.

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